sometimes when I ask a girl out the first thing I think immediately after the words leave my mouth is “oh god, kill me now, I regret everything”
The Idiot's Comprehensive Guide to Internet Sociopathy and Biological Phenomena
Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?
not gonna lie that still looks intimately real
I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.
Fucking witchcraft, man.
You Can Cook Cake in a Crock Pot
- Me: People are really into this cartoon, and I don't know why.
- Sister: You've never seen "Bob's Burgers"?
- Me: No.
- Sister: Strap in, because we're gonna do it.
- Me: I can't. I have wasting disease. I have to go lie down. I have to go dig cake out of the crock pot.